3cubed

Sunday, April 20, 2003

 
My Solitary Weekend

My parents left on Thursday to go camping for the weekend. They took Maggie with them. An all too rare, long weekend to myself, which although relaxing, turned out to be mostly a bore. After Friday night's plans fell through, I ended up spending a couple of hours wandering aimlessly through the new Super Wal-Mart built near my home. I'm really more of a Target shopper, but I can't get out of there without spending less than $50 and if I'd had $50 to spare, I would have been at a bar on a Friday night instead of Wal-Mart.

Saturday was spent sleeping (one of my favorite past-times) & running errands. One of the errands was to the pharmacy, where yes, you guessed it, pharmacy boy, of the Vagina Incident fame (see archives 1/23/03 for details) was working that day. I've only seen him once since then, but he seems to have shed his nerdiness for longer hair & a tan. Although I prefer the nerdy look (cute nerdy boys are like undiscovered treasure) he was still quite yummy, just in a more obvious way than before. He either found out about the previous mix-up with my medication or figured I must be better by now, because he was back to his friendly self.

Saturday night was somewhat emotionally charged, but thankfully mostly drama-free. I went up to Art Bar with Susan where we were to meet everyone else who were going to St. Nick's first. Bobby had called earlier to inform me that he would be there with his new 19 year old girlfriend. Let me just take a moment to remind everyone that my soon to be ex-Bobby will be 38 next month. I asked him not to go because I was, he refused. STALKER! It irritated me, but Art Bar is mine dammit! It's where all MY friends go, friends that I've known since high school & I was not about to let him prevent me from going. So internally I had all that going on before I even got there, and as Susan & I were walking through the parking lot, she mentions a certain someone from our circle of friends is there, as she has just spotted his vehicle. Although I will refrain from mentioning names, those that know me will know who I'm referring to. I have had feelings for this person since high school & although we did hook up a few times in the past, it was always bad timing. I have never been able to get this person out of my system & I don't know if it's because things were always nipped in the bud & never allowed to run their course or what. I had not seen him since July & thought I was over it, but the mere mention of his name set off butterflies in my stomach. He is the one that will forever keep me wondering, what if...

Therefore my child free, family free, carefree Saturday night turned into an evening filled with stress, anxiety & anticipation which even the several Harp's I allowed myself could not dull. At one point I stood talking to a guy who I've been obsessed with for the past 12 years, trying to pretend I feel nothing more than friendship for him, while my husband, who is obsessed with me, stared a hole into my skull from across the room where he stood with a girl who looked like a shorter younger version of me. My life has gone from sitcom status to Twilight Zone status.
Tina 10:34 PM