3cubed

Sunday, November 14, 2004

 
Wow, has it really been that long since I last wrote here? I guess no one is even bothering to read anymore, probably tired of checking for nothing. So I guess I like to write when I'm upset. It helps me to gather my thoughts and reflect. And today I'm feeling...well like I lost my best friend because that's exactly what happened. Although I'm known for taking forever to tell a story, I shall make this one short, and believe me, I could REALLY make this one long.

For the past year or so, I've spent most of my time with Will. He had become my best friend. We talk on the phone several times a day, if I do anything other than homework it almost always includes him. And yes occasionally we did have sex. Although he did make it clear to me that he did not have feelings for me other than as a friend, I nevertheless developed more than friendship feelings for him. My fatal mistake was in thinking that I could somehow control my feelings. As was bound to happen sooner or later, Will has begun dating someone. It of course doesn't help that she's a stupid, fat ass (literally her ass is huge, and NOT in a good way), insecure, Bush-supporting, Christian whom I can't stand. She is so opposite from him it's not even funny. And I might point out that contrary to the saying that opposites attract it has been scientifically proven that birds of a feather actually do flock together. (The Study of Interpersonal Attraction - Clyde Hendrick).

Anyway, I, of course, am hurt. My fault, I know. I should not have let him get this close to me. Z warned me months ago that this was bound to happen. Which I did acknowledge that I was aware of, but at that point, it was too late. I was already attached to him, pulling away at that time would have hurt just as much. Therefore I decided to take the "cross that bridge when I come to it" approach, which is now here. Since I have already gotten my feelings hurt, and do not wish for it to happen again, ("There's an old saying in Tennessee ? I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee ? that says, fool me once, shame on ? shame on you. Fool me ? you can't get fooled again." - George Bush, stupid quote number...ah hell who keeps count anymore?) I have decided to end our friendship. I feel pretty crappy about it, but I know it's for the best. Because our children totally love each other, I will probably still see him occasionally, it would not be fair to the kids otherwise. But I must emotionally detach myself. I know I can do it, I've been through much worse than this.

Many thanks to Z, who I'm beginning to think has some psychic abilities, because having no knowledge of my situation, just happened to call me tonight to hang out. What a great guy who will take his emotionally distraught female friend to see the new Bridget Jones movie to cheer her up. I laughed my ass off and it felt so good. Muchos gracias Zdravko! I really identify with poor Bridget, which I guess many women do thus the reason for the movies' success. But come on...a single, 30-something, overweight, funny, clumsy woman who talks too much (usually saying the completely wrong thing) and has horrible luck with men. The similarities are astounding. And Hugh Grant totally reminds me of Bobby, they have that same boyish charm. Oh...did I just say something nice about Bobby? Man, I must be delirious, time for bed.

Tina 1:28 AM