3cubed

Monday, January 24, 2005

 
Song of the day: Cat Stevens - Wild World

Movie quote of the day:

Maxine: It's really quite something to see you all grown-up like this, Enid. I'd love to know what you're doing now. I can't help but feel I had some small part in how you turned out. What're you studying? You were always such a smart little girl.
Enid: I'm taking a remedial high school art class for fuck-ups and retards.
--Ghost World

I went to Angela's today because she was having a get together to watch the football games that were on today. I think they were play offs? Obviously I know little about football, but anyway they were the games to decide who goes to the superbowl which is being hosted by our wonderful ::insert snicker:: city this year. If I had known that at football parties that everyone mostly stands around and talks, eats, and drinks and don't really watch the game, I would have started going to these things a long time ago. Anyway, when I got there, Melissa and Kim (who are the people whose Halloween party I went to and got drunk and sprained my knee) introduce me to this guy they brought with them and he says that we met at the Halloween party, which of course I have no recollection of, and when I gave him a puzzled look he said, "Yeah you were the girl that kept falling down." Great, what a nice way to be remembered.

Melissa and Kim are a lesbian couple and they're pretty open and affectionate towards each other, such as holding hands and putting their arms around each other. A couple of people brought their kids with them to Angela's today, so Kim and Melissa were trying to be conscious about not holding hands & stuff in front of them. I asked them why because it's not like they're making out in front of children, they're just holding hands. And they said because they were afraid parents would be weird about it, not wanting their kids exposed to homosexuality or whatever. I was like fuck them. That's life and it's healthy for children to be exposed to different lifestyles. I told them if they were ever around my daughter to please not alter their behavior. I want her to accept diversity and realize there's nothing "wrong" with someone just because they're different from the "norm" or the majority. Kim said that it was people like me who would change the world because when other kids come up to my daughter on the playground and say "Ew, that person is a lesbain." My daughter's response will be, "So?". Yay me!

I have come to the realization that I am depressed. I've been feeling this way for weeks but I was hoping I would snap out of it, especially when school started back up, but it's just not happening. I am so lethargic, I don't want to do anything but sleep and lay on the couch in my pajamas and watch TV. Oh and eat. Food is good. I've gained back all the weight I lost year before last, plus more. I know exercise would be good for both problems, but I can't even get motivated to do anything at all, much less something that requires that much energy. I just got approved for medicare last week, so now that I have some insurance coverage, I will make it a priority to find a doctor and make an appointment. Hopefully I can find a medication that will jump start me and once I'm feeling better I can start exercising and participating in activities that will make me feel better then I can wean off of it. Or maybe increasing my Luvox (for my OCD) would do it since it is also a mild anti-depressant.

I wish I could find some form of exercise that I enjoy. I know that is the key to maintaining an exercise program, but I can't think of a thing. I have never liked sports, I'm hopelessly uncoordinated. The gym is so blah, just boring and a bother and time consuming to get there and change, work out and shower, etc. Bike riding also I just have no interest in. I used to like to go for walks when I lived at the beach, but my neighborhood now sucks. We live in the 'hood. I'd be scared to walk around here. The people I do see walking around carry sticks with them to ward off stray dogs. Plus now that I messed up my knee, it hurts even when I walk around the mall now. Yoga is something that I used to enjoy, but that's expensive, and again with the knee thing, I'm not sure if I could do a lot of the poses.

Maggie has her first loose tooth. I can't believe it. She showed me and totally freaked me out. She's very mature and independent for her age, and so articulate, sometimes I forget how young she is, but at the same time, she's my little baby and I can't imagine her growing up.
Tina 1:11 AM

Comments:

Lordwiki - I wish you the best of luck in getting that jumpstart. I've been in a pretty crappy state of mind lately myself.

# posted by  Anonymous : 9:55 PM

 

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